 |
The product feels
good at the time but terrible afterwards. |
|
As a candida
prone woman, you want a glorious lubricious sexual
encounter – without having to apply a glycerin-laden,
candida feeding lubricant to your front bottom. |
|
With the sensuous
turn-on of a lubricant you get carried away,
but have to guard against getting the product
near your or your partner’s eyes, nose
or mouth. As a result you have to master
the art of making love with cautious wildness. |
|
The exciting
abandon inspired by good lubricant performance
is undermined by a lurking anxiety about the
effects its ingredients are having on your sensitive
mucous membranes. |
|
The product may
add subtle pleasures to your lovemaking – but
its aesthetics are crude and obvious. |
|
In the height
of passion, you reach for some extra lubrication,
only to find that the applicator is so awkward
and noisy that it cools your ardour and the moment
is lost. |
|
You respect your
body and that of your lover’s but you can’t
find a product that is organic as well as orgasmic. |
|
You find a product
that has organic ingredients – but
it comes with a pronounced flavour / fragrance
that dominates your sensory awareness, and interferes
with your natural pheromones, and doesn’t
even work. |
|
You choose a
lubricant product that gives good glide – but
has been tested on rabbits’ penises and
stains your conscience and your sheets. |
|
You discover
a lubricant that seems to work in the dark, but
with the lights on, is an embarrassment to your
style-conscious bedroom / bathroom. |
|
You invest in
a typical lubricant and after a thrilling sexual
marathon you and your lover collapse in post-coital
exhaustion, but you can’t pass into sweet
oblivion in each other’s arms because there
are all these gritty, tacky, lubey bits left
on both your bodies that you have to shower off – destroying
the sleepy loving mood. |
|
As a woman, you
want to give your partner a “warm welcome” even
if you, for a whole raft of reasons, might for
a while be dry. You find a suitable lubricant,
but no discreet way of having it in place before
the critical intimate moment. |
|
As a man, you
may want a lubricant to use inside, outside your
condom, but it is hard to find one that that
won’t damage either its latex structure
or your partner’s delicate tissue. |
|
As a gay couple,
you may rely on a lubricant, but have to over-ride
your concerns about wellbeing by using a lubricant
based on petroleum products or anti-freeze. |
|
You use a silicone
based lube which is certainly long lasting, but
feels profoundly unnatural internally, never
becoming absorbed and needing to be washed away
to free you of that smeary coating. |
|
After using a
lubricant, you discover that the pleasure of
oral sex is seriously impacted by an artificial
taste of ultra sweet glycerine or synthetic flavourings. Distressingly
off putting. |
